Welcome to Episode #162. I'm your host, Kristi Angevine, and this podcast is your invitation to deepen your understanding of why you think, feel, and act as you do. And today, we're gonna dig into a powerful inquiry technique that you can use to get insight, perspective, and clarity in almost any situation. Let's dive in.

Welcome to Habits On Purpose, a podcast for high-achieving women who want to create lifelong habits that give more than they take. You'll get practical strategies for mindset shifts that will help you finally understand the root causes of why you think, feel, and act as you do. And now, here's your host, Physician, and Master Certified Life Coach, Kristi Angevine.

Hello, hello, everybody. I have been really enjoying some of this really beautiful, warmer weather, as well as still being able to go skiing on some amazing snow here in Central Oregon. It is February slash March and we have been immersed in the world of recreational basketball for our children and lots of travel for speaking at conferences for myself.

And can I just say that I'm personally in this particular season running into so many trailheads just from adulting? So if that phrase is unfamiliar to you, “trailhead” is just a word that describes running into something that brings up big emotions or is activating or butts up against something that's tender and is basically pointing you back inside yourself to discover how come this benign thing brought up something so big for me. So that's a trailhead and I've been running to trailheads of adulting like crazy.

And I'm definitely in what feels like a season full of challenges, full of growth, and lots of poignancy in so many areas and it's a time where I'm noticing and kind of almost enjoying and sometimes feeling the tension between these varying things that are simultaneously present, simultaneously true, even if they stand in opposition to themselves.

So I'm at one moment just awed by the beauty of sunrises and the pink that's in the sky and that crisp morning air. And simultaneously, or concurrently, I am disgusted and angry and stunned by things in the world. In some areas of life, I've got this tremendous sense of agency right beside other areas in my life where parts of me feel powerless. And parts of me are immensely grateful for things while other parts of me are very annoyed and bothered by those same things.

Like I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow and learn. And I have a part of me that's also super frustrated that things have to be so hard. And such is the state in the season that, you know, like most of life, we have all these variances, but this is kind of like really intense for me right now. And I share this with you just to normalize.

If at any point in your life you felt like this, welcome to the club. This is kind of a normal part of the human experience. And sometimes just naming it and normalizing it and knowing that it's not a sign of a defect or that you're broken and you're not the only one feeling it, I think is so therapeutic.

So today's episode includes a discussion of a robust technique that you can use in many, many situations where you want to understand the deeper causative forces that are driving your experience.

And before we get into this, I wanna preface this entire topic with basically just welcoming any new listeners. If this is your first episode, I just love that you're here. Thank you for joining in. I'm tickled to know that you're here with me.

Please note that there are other episodes that will give you a really solid foundation for some of the ideas that are discussed today. So if things like doing reflection and thinking about your thinking, checking in to see what you think about your emotions or the whole field of Internal Family Systems is a bit foreign to you, I recommend you go to the show notes and we'll have some episodes that are linked there for you that'll give you some of these foundational tenets so that if this sounds like a foreign language, you can just get yourself up to speed. None of these concepts are so complex that they can't be easily understood, but sometimes the lingo can make it seem a little bit murky.

So either way, new listener or like long-time listener, let's dive into this technique. I wanna frame this technique with the two-mountain metaphor, which I may have discussed on here in the past, but I'm not sure I've used it in this particular way. So the two-mountain metaphor is as follows. Say you are hiking and you're on a trail and you're on your own particular mountain. And the trail you're on, it goes in and out of tree cover.

Sometimes you can tell where you are relative to the top. Other times, maybe not so much. Perhaps you have a map that shows you some of the things, but maybe the topo lines aren't really lining up and things are sometimes unexpectedly a little bit different, or maybe there's a detour. Other times you know exactly where you're going. The view, the scenery, you can see lakes, rivers, you can see another mountain out there.

And from your vantage point, when you look at the other mountain that you see in the distance, you can see a meandering footpath that goes up the mountain. You can see the bottom, you can see the top. You can see a lot of the obstacles. You can maybe see some clouds that are, you know, predicting some really rainy, stormy weather that are coming in from the south. And maybe you can see mountain goats or birds. Maybe you even have some binoculars that will show you even more detail.

And by the simple fact that you are further away, if there were another person on that other mountain, you can see more of the other person's mountain, more of that mountain than you can see of your own. And the same is true for someone else who is on the mountain you're looking at. If they were to look up and look out, they could see, observe, and examine your mountain with the perspective that they don't have of their own.

So to take this idea of these two mountains and discuss how it can be a metaphor in life, and a metaphor for thinking about thinking and feelings and our experiences. We have two people on separate mountains. Both people have challenges in front of them. Neither one knows exactly what the other one is facing. Neither one knows exactly what it's like for the other person to go up their particular mountain. Neither of them knows like what it's like when the other person sort of turns in on a trail that they can't see and knows what's actually there. But both people can kind of imagine what it's like for the other person.

And since they have a different vantage point and they can see things, if they could speak to one another, they could perhaps offer perspective and direction, maybe guidance from what they can't see. Now, this can represent two people in relationship, whether they're partners, parent and child, client and coach, client and therapist, where each person is on their own journey and neither can know what the other person needs specifically or what the other person should do or will face.

Both of them have struggles, i.e. Neither person is superior or more enlightened than the other. And if you're thinking about a therapist and a client, the therapist or the coach, they're not at the top of the mountain with some supreme knowledge that they can dole out to the other people.

And both people, they're able to see the other with a vantage point that's just unavailable to whoever's on the mountain, simply by virtue of the distance and the space. And this analogy is a way to convey that we're kind of all in it together. There's not a hierarchy where somebody has more authority or is immune to struggles. And this also emphasizes the idea that if one person is climbing their mountain, although they can't see the big picture of their mountain, they can see aspects of their particular trail that the other person on the other mountain can't see.

It's almost like when you're hiking your trail you have a backstage pass to the inside things, like when you're on the trail that goes deep into a forest, only you can see what's there, only you know. The person who's observing around, well, they can't see that. So when you are there, you are actually the only person that knows your journey best, the inside of your journey, not somebody outside of you.

So this analogy is beautiful in many ways, but this metaphor can also be helpful when we think about ourselves, where we are climbing one mountain, and then we can hop off of our primary mountain and go to another mountain or go to a helicopter and look onto ourselves as we are hiking on the original mountain. We can look at ourselves as we are struggling. We can look at ourselves with a broader, more objective perspective.

And from the witness vantage point, we can see things that we can't see when, you know, our legs are burning and we're deep in the woods or we're scrambling up some scree, i.e. when we are fully flooded with certain emotions, and we can only see the world through the lens of that emotion, it's the equivalent of being deep in the woods on our mountain and not knowing there's anything beyond these woods, not knowing when they're going to end, not knowing where the trail goes, not knowing how long we're going to be there, not knowing will we get to the other side and then be able to get to the top of the mountain or get somewhere else.

Versus, if we can get a little space from a big feeling, get a little space from the deep dark woods of the forest on our mountain, get a little space for maybe a very prominent way of interpreting something, we can, like somebody in a helicopter or on another mountain, we can see more.

Therefore, we can expand our thinking and we can sort of see the greater context in which our experience is happening. So when we think about the two mountain analogy from the perspective of our own system where we can step back from ourselves and look in, this is the difference between feeling super anxious, scanning the room for people who look more comfortable than you, critiquing your own outfit, beating yourself up for not knowing what to say, catastrophizing about what a disaster this is gonna be, and then shutting down, and basically being in the thick of the emotion of anxiety, aka being on the trail in the woods of anxiety and seeing nothing else, versus being on the other mountain that is over and away from anxiety and looking back on anxiety with a little distance.

And when we do this, it can sound like noticing the feeling of anxiety showing up, pausing, naming, and saying, "Oh, wow, gosh, I can tell that anxiety is really big right now. Part of me feels anxious. What's all this about? Gosh, you know what? It is so hard to feel anxious. I can just tell there's a part of me that has an impulse to compare and despair and worry and catastrophize. Okay, from here I can breathe, I can move. Oh, you know what? I remember that, you know, when I feel this way, it's not actually as dangerous as I might think. Other people might be anxious too. Maybe there's other people on anxiety mountains as well around here. I wonder. Maybe it's okay that I don't know what to say. And you know what, I remember hearing so-and-so say that they feel anxious and stressed out over their outfit and what to say when they go to cocktail parties. So you know what, maybe I'm just in the middle of humaning right now."

Notice how this type of perspective on an emotion when you're away from it just a little bit has so much more clarity. Now, the most natural experience that spontaneously occurs without us having to think about it is usually where we have a feeling or we experience the world through the lens of that feeling and we are in that feeling. So most of our experiences, we are on the mountain, we're in the woods, and we're not really looking in on that or reflecting on that as it's happening.

So a way that we can get perspective when we need it is to enter a witness state, to step back and notice our feelings, notice our thoughts, notice our impulses with a little bit of space, a little bit of objectivity like we can easily do when we are noticing somebody else's experience.

So the technique I wanna share with you is a way to get out of the thick woods of any emotion, any activation, any experience, and hop on a helicopter or transport yourself to another mountain where you can look back and see, observe, and notice yourself with some objectivity. So drum roll please, this is the technique.

The technique is to ask the question, “How do I feel toward?” Now, for those of you who are intimately aware of Internal Family Systems, you're gonna recognize this question. And for those of you who've never heard this question or it sounds a little bit strange, I'm gonna explain it so by the end you're gonna totally know what to do with this question.

Asking, “how do I feel toward,” is a way to unblend or get a little space from something that you're thinking, feeling, or doing. Asking, “how do I feel toward,” is basically the way to press a button that says, take me out of the woods, off of this trail, onto a helicopter, over to the other mountain, so I can check in to see what's going on here with the bigger picture.

Now this technique is simple, yet it's got a lot of nuance, a lot of complexity, but suffice it to say, when you use it, you give yourself the gift to understand a little bit better of what's really going on for you and open the door to some clarity, some perspective, and some deeper understanding.

So let me explain this question and then give you an example of what it looks like to use it. First, I'm going to use this with a couple different people. We're going to say person A, B, and C. I'm just going to name them Alex, Bobby, and Chris.

So if Chris asks Alex how they feel towards Bobby, Alex might say, I feel annoyed. If Chris asks Bobby how they feel towards Alex, Chris might say that they feel intimidated. Now, either party could feel anything toward the other. These are just examples. Each of them might feel curious toward the other or warm or open or closed or irritated or adversarial. Now, if we think about this triad, the way that Alex feels towards Bobby, you can imagine will influence how Alex interacts with Bobby. And also you can imagine it will influence how Bobby perceives Alex.

So say Alex feels annoyed toward Bobby. Alex's body language, tone of voice, things they say will sound one way when annoyed, versus they will sound a different way when they are connected, warm, curious. So annoyed Alex sounds like "oh, hi. Yeah. How are you? Oh, really? Oh, yeah I bet that was really hard for you, wasn't it?" Versus warm, curious, connected Alex sounds like, "oh, hi, yeah, how are you? Oh, really? Yeah, gosh, I bet that was really hard for you, wasn't it?" You notice the difference, same words, different feeling.

So let's take this idea internally. Say you notice that you have the habit of procrastinating and you're trying to catch yourself right before you procrastinate so you can understand why you do it, understand what you're feeling, understand like what's going on that's driving me to do this.

So in the moment of feeling the impulse to open your phone or start stress cleaning instead of doing your taxes or your charts or some other thing that you don't wanna do, you notice that you feel overwhelmed and anxious. Now if in that moment you could press pause, just press pause on all life and take like a little screenshot of your life at that moment. And then you could go sit down on the couch and you could look at your device and like look at this screenshot you took and you could see yourself there getting overwhelmed, getting anxious, feeling tense, having the drive to procrastinate.

In this little hypothetical example, you would have some space from the part of you that felt that way. You would literally be able to look at that and go, oh, in this place where you have space, where you're kind of like in the helicopter, looking across the way at yourself on the mountain, in the forest of overwhelm and anxiety and wanting to, you know, stress clean instead of doing taxes. In this place, if somebody asked you, or if you asked yourself, how do I feel towards the me that feels anxious? Or how do I feel towards the impulse to procrastinate that I'm observing? Or, how do I feel towards the part of me that feels overwhelmed. This is what might show up.

You might first notice that you feel frustrated and judgmental towards the part of you that's anxious. It might sound like, "Oh, what is my problem? Here I go again. I'm anxious, I'm avoiding things, I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. Oh, yuck." Or you might notice that you feel kind of sheepish and embarrassed towards that impulse to procrastinate. Nothing to see here. You know, like you have a desire to hide it. Like you see the picture and you're like, "Oh, I hope nobody sees this is what I'm doing."

Or you might feel compassion. "Oh my gosh, it is so hard. I see that when I'm feeling that way, I know it's so hard. It would be hard for anybody to feel that way. Oh my gosh, damn, that is so tough." Or when you check in to see how you feel toward the you who's procrastinating and feeling tense and overwhelmed, you might feel this really strong desire to swoop in and rescue. "Oh no, this is awful. I must like, I gotta make it better. I gotta take care of this poor, poor, poor part of me who feels so terrible."

So when you ask, "How do I feel toward," it does a very special thing. It reveals your thoughts, your interpretations, your emotions in relation to your current experience, to your current thoughts, interpretations and emotions. And this gets a little bit meta here. So just, you know, rewind and replay if you need to.

So when you ask, "How do I feel toward," you might learn that when you feel stressed and begin to procrastinate, you also feel discouraged because a part of you is simultaneously judging yourself. Or you might learn that when you feel overwhelmed, you also feel shame for the overwhelm, and this shame kind of fuels the discomfort like gasoline to the fire.

Now, in Internal Family Systems terminology, asking this question, how do you feel toward a part of you, will reveal if other parts are also present. Now, the image that I love that helps this is to imagine a room and then imagine you could take your primary feeling or thought or action and you could sort of personify it or embody it into a person that's sitting at a table. So say you have anxiety.

You can imagine what anxiety looks like and you place them at a table and then you step back and you look maybe through a window into the room and you ask yourself, how do I feel towards that part or that person that's embodying anxiety? And you realize, oh, like maybe I feel annoyed. You have then basically identified you have another part or another quote, “person,” that's in the room of your psyche. So voila, you have two people at your table. The primary person feeling anxiety and the secondary person feeling annoyed at the anxiety.

You can imagine this is almost like two siblings, right? One is anxious, the other one's like, oh, so annoyed that that person's anxious. Now if this sounds convoluted, I totally get it, but here's why it's important. Do you ever feel like there are just so many conflicting feelings that you have all under one roof, otherwise known as your head? Maybe you feel happy to be somewhere, but you're also anxious to be there, and then you're frustrated with yourself for feeling anxious. Well, this is why. You have one part that feels one thing, another part that feels something else towards the original part, and so on and so forth.

So by asking ourselves a question like, “how do I feel toward,” and fill in the blank with an emotion, a thought, a behavior. To answer this, we have to step back from ourselves and check in. This question is the invitation to get over to another mountain, to get onto the helicopter to step back. And the brilliance of this question is that you can ask it repetitively. And I wanna give you two examples of what it might look like in reality to repetitively ask, how do I feel toward?

So say you get angry and snippy, and maybe you start being a little bit curt with people that you love. Or maybe right before you start snapping at people you pause. Maybe you like step out of the room and say, hey, I need some space you literally go somewhere and you get a little space and you breathe and you just check in, you're like, oh, wow, I've got some anger. Basically, you're naming and noticing the emotion that's there. You're like, okay, here's some anger. And you ask, how do I feel towards the part of me that is angry?

And you wait a minute and you realize, oh, the answer is judgmental. Like, I shouldn't be like that, that's awful. Okay, part of me feels judgmental. So you pause, you name and notice a part feels critical. And then you ask again, how do I feel toward the part of me that's critical of my anger? And then you wait a minute, you're like, you notice you feel irritated. Oh, why does that meanness towards this basic emotion have to be here? Ah. And so then you ask again, how do I feel toward the part that's irritated, the part that's judging, and that original part that's angry when I just sort of glance at myself altogether? Oh my goodness, it makes so much sense. This trio, they run together often. And you know what, maybe I'm a little curious why they're here now.

Right, so let me give you another example with doing the same thing with repetitively asking how you feel towards something. So say you've got that same anger, you're about to get snippy, you get some space and you step back and you say, how do I feel toward the part of me that's angry? And you notice that you feel critical towards it.

And then you ask, could I pause the criticism for a moment? And if that feels reasonable, you go, okay, that seems less present. So now how do I feel towards the anger? Oh, I feel some guilt and some sadness that shows up. Okay, could I set that guilt and sadness to the side, almost like setting them down at a table and saying, hey, I'll be with you in a moment. Could I set them to the side and then step back from them for a moment?

If that seems okay, you go, now how do I feel towards the part of me that's angry? And then you might notice that you just feel a little bit calmer, a little bit more spacious, a little bit like, oh goodness, I can see the part of me that's angry. It's just, wow, it's really just trying to make sure I'm heard. And in this situation, I wasn't being heard. Oh, that makes so much sense. I know these are just hypothetical examples.

But these are examples that they're ones that I've lived, they're ones that my clients have lived when they repetitively ask themselves this question. Because when you repetitively just with a sense of true curiosity ask, you will uncover a multitude of thoughts and feelings that are present that are maybe under your radar. And eventually, you will access a bit of perspective, maybe some calm, potentially some curiosity and compassion, simply by asking what you feel towards something and then naming, noticing, and checking in.

If as you're listening to this, you think, okay, this just sounds kind of out there. Like number one, you're making me ask myself questions about things that I'm experiencing. Isn't that a little bit odd? Is this like mental ninja gymnastics or is this just kind of strange? Like you're making me talk to myself, I don't get it. It also might just sound too good to be true, like too simple. You ask yourself a question a few times and then, huh, you've got some perspective and calm. Like, is that just maybe made up pixie dust?

So I do not expect you to believe me. But I encourage you to try it and see what your experience of it is. And if by chance you'd like to geek out about why this works as it does, why this helps you step back and witness yourself or unblend from strong emotions or impulses, here's how it works.

When you ask the question, “how do I feel toward” blank? Who is the one that's feeling toward? Well, implicit in that question is the invitation for the witness or the more objective version of you to be present and you'll know when you're able to get a little space because as soon as you ask this question and you can get a little space like you can hop on the helicopter and go over to the other mountain and notice yourself, you'll usually feel a little bit of openness, a little bit of calm, sometimes just some curiosity.

Maybe you feel warm, like less constrained or constricted, unbothered, maybe compassionate, maybe at ease, maybe just neutral, as opposed to feeling restricted, heavy, tight, tense, angry, discouraged, intimidated, or a strong desire to fix.

And those calmer emotions are usually places where we can get clarity about what's actually going on for us underneath the surface. So when can you use this technique? Basically, you can use it anytime. You can use it anytime you want to understand something better.

Do you have a big feeling? Did you get triggered? Did you get activated? Did something come out of the blue and seemed benign on the surface when you explain it to somebody, but you had a huge big feeling about it? Great. Pause. Name what you're noticing and ask how do I feel towards blank feeling?

Do you have a dominant belief that you wish were different? As soon as you notice it being present, name it, notice what it's like when it's there, and ask yourself, how do I feel towards that dominant belief? How do I feel towards the part of me that thinks it should not be like this? Or, how do I feel toward the part of me that thinks, gosh, I'm an idiot?

Do you have a recurrent habit? Same thing, name it, notice it, and ask how do I feel towards the part of me that overeats? How do I feel towards the part of me that stays up too late? The part of me that beats myself up? The part of me that takes things personally? The part of me that procrastinates? How do I feel towards that habit, towards that part?

Now, you can even ask yourself, how do I feel towards this other person? So if you're in a conflict and you want to understand it better, or you're in a situation that you don't quite understand why things are playing out as they are, you can just ask, how do I feel towards this other person in this moment?

And just notice that whatever you feel, whether it's a positive, negative, pleasant, unpleasant emotion, it makes sense in some way and your only job is just to check in to see what's present and maybe get curious why it's there. Because every emotion that shows up is there for a good reason. It's there to communicate something to you.

And when you ask, how do I feel towards this person? You could then go on and use the repetition technique where you say, oh and how do I feel towards the part of me that feels this way towards them? And as soon as you notice that you have a way that you feel towards somebody, and that you feel a certain way towards the part of you that feels that way towards them, you can follow this, you can illuminate what might be coloring the way you're approaching this other person inside your own system and with your own behaviors, which can kind of shed light on any repetitive dynamics you have with someone.

So this question, "How do I feel toward?" is your ticket off of your mountain and into a helicopter or over to another mountain briefly so you can appreciate what's going on with a different perspective and understand all the different facets that are there for you.

Now, we could discuss this inquiry technique for hours, if not weeks, because there's a lot of complexity baked into this very simple on the surface question, but the minute complexities can really make it murky. So since this is such a powerful standalone technique, I'm gonna leave this here. And I'm going to invite you to take this question and either use it as a journal prompt, "How do I feel toward?" and then write, or you can use it off the page in your life anytime you want some clarity for what's going on.

Now I can tell you that I have used this countless times, and sometimes it will be very easy to use, other times it's a little bit trickier, depends on how intense the emotion is or how intense or sticky the habit is that I'm examining. And sometimes it lands differently when somebody else, like a coach or a therapist or a friend poses it to me than when I'm asking myself. But even just as a DIY tool to self-administer, it really has the potential to reveal so much.

So I hope this is helpful to you. I hope you enjoy using this very simple question as much as I do, and it reveals some things that are helpful to you. And if you liked what you heard today, and you wanna hear more, I would love it if you click the little plus sign, I think it is, and you followed the podcast. And I would be even more delighted if you would let me know what you think about the podcast and do that by leaving the podcast a rating or review.

Now, as soon as you hear "rating or review", if you are inclined to press next and go to the next one in your circulation of podcasts, let me ask you to pause for just a second.

The reviews that we get for this podcast, they come in batches, it's kind of like seasons. And I want to just name that doing reviews and ratings, it's a bit tedious to leave one and let's be real, it means you actually have to stop what you're doing. And for me, it's just easier to ignore it, to not do it, to postpone it for another day. You know what, I'll just do it later.

But I will tell you, when you do take the time to leave a rating or review, it really helps this podcast grow in ways that I can't do on my own. It's like fertilizer for the algorithm that helps podcasts. And it helps other people see the podcast and decide, is this podcast worth my time or should I just roll on by? And it brings the podcast higher up in the search results when somebody searches for something like habit change or Internal Family Systems, et cetera.

So if you can pause, take a minute or so to scroll down and leave a rating in a very simple review, I would be so grateful. Now, if you're driving, you can just pass your phone to your passenger, have one of your kids do it for you. You can educate them on how to use your screen while you safely drive, and you can model for them safely driving and not multitasking with your phone.

Or when you get home or whenever you are done with your exercise or whatever you do when you podcast, if you can leave a rating or review, I would be really, really appreciative. So thank you so, so much for joining in today, and I really look forward to meeting you here next week.

Are you a woman physician interested in being more intentional in your life, being more deliberate with your habits? Maybe you're feeling a bit frayed on the edges with all the pressures of work and life, and you may have a tendency to overthink, people please, second guess, or feel so much guilt when you do something for yourself.

Perhaps your charting takes forever, you bring work home, and you're just not as present as you would like to be. Maybe you scroll, or shop, or emotionally eat, or you use a drink to wind down more often than you'd like.

If you can relate to this and you just want to feel less reactionary and more in the driver's seat of your life, you need to understand the root causes of your habits. Habits like perfectionism, a harsh inner critic, people pleasing, numbing, ruminating, overcomplicating, procrastinating, and so on.

And that's exactly what you can work on in the next round of small group coaching called Habits on Purpose for Physicians. Habits on Purpose for Physicians, or HOPP for short, comes with CME and is a small group of women physicians who meet weekly for six months.

And in HOPP, you get practical, deep dive coaching and teaching from me. And I come at this from a perspective of cognitive, somatic, and Internal Family Systems informed approaches in a way that is not only accessible, but applicable to real life.

And you get a ready-made structure that you don't have to create on your own, and you get probably one of the best parts is a community where you can connect with other physicians doing the same work.

Enrollment information and the link to join the waitlist can be found at https://habitsonpurpose.com/hopp. And when you go there, get on the waitlist, because when you're on the waitlist, you'll get access to early enrollment and some bonuses only available to those who sign up early. And the reason why this is important is spots are limited. So signing up sooner as opposed to later is really smart so you can ensure that you get a spot before they're full.

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In the Habits on Purpose for Physicians group, you will unpack and unlearn old habits so that you can create new ones that are sustainable. So I hope you'll consider joining. The signup page with all the details will come out closer to enrollment for the next round, but go to https://habitsonpurpose.com/hopp to get on the waitlist. I can't wait to see you there.

Thanks for listening to Habits On Purpose. If you want more information on Kristi Angevine or the resources from the podcast, visit HabitsOnPurpose.com. Tune in next week for another episode.